Why I've needed to leave facebook

I've been plotting my exodus from facebook for months.  Would I go out with a nice, long goodbye post, or should I be more adult about it and just disappear?  The attention-seeking part of me wanted to explain, and Jessica and I had decided that I would write my manifesto, take pictures of it, post it, and then she would change my password so I would have to stay out.


It sounded like a good plan to me, but then tonight I decided on another plan.  Blog about all the things, all the reasons why I want to leave.  Because I do have a desire to be heard, and the idea (however self-absorbed it may be) that I have something to offer.


All the reasons for wanting to leave facebook can be jumbled together in one category: too much knowledge.  I don't need or want to know what all my friends think about every little thing.  I just don't.  It breeds a level of discontent within a friendship that may be unique to me, but it's there.  It's not natural.  And when I find all these things out about my friends without the requirement of face to face (or even phone) interaction, there's too much time to think without having to contribute to the conversation.  So I find myself feeling discontent with people that I never would have felt discontent with, or, at least, I would have had to verbalize that discontent and deal with it on the spot.


Facebook lets people say things without the responsibility that they should have to their friends.  When someone gets annoyed with someone, they don't have to deal with that person the way that friends really should.  They can just post about it on facebook.  Then their friends get to sit there and wonder, is this about me?  What role did I play in this?


I just don't need to know what people that I genuinely like think about every little thing.  Unless we would sit down and talk about it over coffee or beer, why should I be reading about it online?  Facebook doesn't leave room for acquaintanceship, at least in many scenarios.  I really do just want to see pictures of your kids and funny cat pictures and positive stories. 


I've stayed because there are so many people that I don't see in real life and want to know about.  Because of funny.  Because of news.  Because of not wanting to be disconnected.


But I still think that maybe my life would be better if I didn't have this continuous connection to facebook.  If I had to take responsibility for passing my own time again.  If the vast majority of my attention were focused on the physical world around me.  If my only connection to people I call my friends were through actual effort that one of us has to expend.


For now I'm going to take a break and post blogs every week.  In all the spare time I have, maybe I'll learn to rope and ride...