National Coming Out Day was founded in 1988. The Closet was still more of a thing. Today, every day is coming out day.
Every day that we come out of the house, we are coming out. There are elements of comfort, confidence, and not giving a fuck mixed with apprehension. I'm happy to be holding hands with my wife and I don't care if that old lady is staring at us, or if that little kid is giving us a funny look. But I do admit to apprehension about being seen by students I teach. I worry about having to deal with attitudes and hostility and reactions of parents. I don't work in a place that I can trust will be behind me in a pinch and respond to negativity with support.
We probably do encounter more openly positive responses to us than negative ones, so it bothers me that I still feel apprehensive. I want to do better, be more confident, more oblivious to the possible disapproval of the people around us. I want to carry that confidence throughout myself and feel capable of handling whatever comes at us or at me.
Being married and in love and participating in all of the parts of life with my wife is a continuous source of joy that is uncontainable. I don't want to contain it. I want to let it spill out. And I do.
Every day. And in the midst of the worry that I feel, I remind myself of the incredible trials that our community went through to get us to this point. I can't refuse to take on my own while experiencing the momentous successes of today.
I think it's important for everyone to realize that being out of the closet is not a static condition. It is a conscious decision about how to live. It is beautiful, it is normal, it is the foundation of the strength and vitality of our love.
